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Dating: Single

What To Look For In A Man
A list of 9 traits that all women should look for…
By: Melissa Williams

Let’s face it…being single and looking for Mr. Right can be hard!  With all the ways of meeting someone these days, unless you have been set up on a date recommendation by a pastor you trust, how do you know if you have found a keeper?  Below are 9 traits to look for in a man, and while they cannot guarantee that your new guy will turn out to be Prince Charming they may help you avoid a snake.

Good Family Relationships- You have probably heard the saying “The way he treats his mother is the way he will treat his wife,” but what you might not know is that this is very true!  It’s not just the way he treats his mother though…his sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles….well, you get the point!  Basically, if he treats those whom he is related to well it makes him a much better choice as a potential date!

Steady Employment-  If you are dating beyond the college years then this is very important.  While there is nothing wrong with changing careers, or continuing education later in life, you must make sure that the man you are considering has steady employment.  Even in this day in age where some women are happily taking on the role of being the bread-winner, unless there is a really good reason for it, every SINGLE man should be working…not waiting around for a sugar mama to take care of him!  Beware of the man who says he is “in between jobs” and yet never seems to go on job interviews or send out resumes!  There is something going on with a guy like that which suggests a character flaw, so beware!

Good Friends- The annoying best friend is a stereotype that simply does not need to be reality!  If the guy you are interested in seems like a sweetheart but his best friend calls him while you are out on a date to tell him about how he just got the newest edition of (insert the name of any trashy magazine here), then you should be wary of this guy.  Everyone puts their best foot forward when dating which is a great thing to do…you just want to be sure he isn’t putting a false foot forward.  If you like guys who are mellow and sweet and this guy still hangs out with his old high-school buddies, drinking and partying up a storm then you might want to rethink this attraction.

Faith- Having faith is such an attractive quality.  Have you ever met a man who knew what he believed and really stood for it?  Wasn’t that so much more attractive than someone who was wishy-washy and being tossed around like the wind every time he heard a new idea?  If you are with a guy who has a strong faith and convictions you will be able to have trust in him because he stands for something greater than himself.  Not only will he feel like he is letting you down if he screws up, but he will be letting God down, and those around him who know of his convictions.

Sense of Humor- While this will be important in varying degrees to women, a little sense of humor can go a long way in a relationship!   You want to find a guy who can laugh at life and can laugh at himself.  We all know that life can throw us some funny curve balls and if you attach yourself with someone who can’t smile about them, it could make it hard to cope with problems later on down the road.

Compassion for Others-  Have you ever met a guy who seemed to only care about himself?  Whenever he heard about other peoples’ problems or misfortunes he seemed to change the subject and didn’t really care?  If so…then RUN!  A guy who doesn’t have compassion for others is a guy who is very self-centered and would NOT make a good dating partner.  Some guys express their concern for others in different ways, which is ok.  What is not ok, is a guy who doesn’t care what happens to the world around him because he is too busy caring about his new haircut or the car he wants to buy.  So, if you meet a guy like this, don’t fool yourself into thinking that he is going to come around, and don’t tell yourself that it’s romantic because all he cares about is you.  This simply wouldn’t be true…all he cares about is himself and you deserve better than that!

Affectionate (but not too affectionate)- The kind of affection I am talking about here is not ridiculous PDAs (public displays of affection) that would make your grandma faint…(that would be under the “but not too affectionate” subtitle).  What I am talking about is a guy who isn’t afraid to give you a hug if you meet up at a local coffee-shop and there are other people around (provided you are comfortable with that as well), a guy who will take your hand (even in front of his friends) to let you know that he cares.  Beware the over affectionate guy!!  This is a guy who is not out to make you feel comfortable, but rather is out for his own physical needs.  NOT a guy you want to get involved with!

Your Friends and Family Like Him-  There is a lot that can be said about a guy that even your parents like!  While it is usually understood that your family doesn’t meet a guy you are dating until it is becoming more serious, there is nothing wrong with a slightly earlier family introduction if you are looking for some feedback from the people who care about you the most!  If you cannot bring yourself to introduce him to the ‘rents just yet, then at least bring him to a get-together with some of your friends.  Tell your friends ahead of time that things are not serious between you two yet, and that you are looking for their HONEST, REAL opinions about this guy.  While them agreeing with you that he is hot and has beautiful eyes is always nice to hear, let them know that you want to hear ANYTHING they think…good or bad.  Provided you have trustworthy girlfriends, you should get a lot of feedback that will help make or break your decision to date this guy!

You Get a Good Feeling About Him-Let’s face it, there really is something to this women’s intuition thing!  Have you ever been out with a guy who seemed great (to everyone else) but you just couldn’t get the idea out of your head that something was wrong?  Now, if you have a history of bad relationships then you could just be a little gun shy, but if you are a healthy dater and just feel like this isn’t right, it probably isn’t!  There are many women who have trusted their instincts and gotten out of a potentially bad relationship before it ever had the chance of getting started.  There have also been just as many, if not more women, who refused to trust themselves and ended up in a bad relationship.  Just don’t rule out your feelings when it comes to choosing a date!

While these suggestions are helpful to keep in mind, remember that this is not a comprehensive list of everything that you should look for.  We are all individuals with different needs and while you might prefer a guy who is outdoorsy and has a passion for the environment, your best friend might equally need a guy who is into the arts and loves animals…The point is…there are many qualities beyond those mentioned above which you need to consider when choosing a date.  The list above is a good, basic list that should help you avoid a lemon when you are looking for a prize!